13 tips from experts for the mourning period

Thousands of people die every day due to the Kovid-19 pandemic, which has completed its first year worldwide. Specialist Clinical Psychologist Kübra Bozkurt from Medicana Çamlıca Hospital, who said that expressing the deceased as numbers rather than their names affects the mental health of the society negatively, “Kovid-19 also affected our mourning style. We also stayed away from the rituals based on sharing and support that we have become accustomed to, such as visiting our dying relatives for the last time, attending their funerals, giving them to the ground, and being with our relatives in condolence. We both cannot support each other regarding our losses and sometimes do not know what to do during the mourning process. Therefore, we cannot live this period, which is necessary when we can cope with mourning, ”he said.


Explaining Yası as the deep pain felt by his relatives after the death of a loved one, Bozkurt said, “The feeling of mourning can be compatible with every object or person we value. Divorce or separation from the person we love, losing our health, losing our job, going through a financially difficult period, miscarriage, retirement, having a serious illness of the person we value, ending a friendship we value, the loss of the sense of security after the trauma we experience, the reasons for entering the mourning process can be shown as an example ”he said.


Emphasizing that it affects the work, family and social life of the person, Bozkurt said, “The deep sadness you feel, the loss of appetite, the onset of insomnia, and moving away from the areas you are interested in may make you think that you are depressed. But there is a difference between depression and a healthy grief process. The feeling of mourning decreases over time because the mentality seen in depression is different from the thoughts that pass through your mind during the mourning process. Depression is dominated by a general hopelessness and pessimism that feeds the depressive mood. This situation affects your outlook on the past, your perspective on your day and your outlook on the future. It makes you dysfunctional. It affects your business life, family and social life. In the grief process, the deterioration of this functional state is limited to a certain period of time. “When you reflect your feelings and receive spiritual support, your pain will decrease over time and your functionality will improve,” he said.


Bozkurt, who suggested 13 methods to overcome the grief process, listed these methods as follows:

“The grief process has no specific duration. Take your time. It may take weeks, months or even years for the pain to subside.

“Ignoring your pain and suppressing your emotions is not the solution. It may cause more serious problems in the long run. Suppression behavior that can lead to the development of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and health problems. Accept your feelings and face them.

“The sadness, the pain you feel towards the loss is a normal reaction. On the contrary, if you do not reflect your feelings by thinking ‘I have to be strong, I have to be seen’, you will have difficulty coping with pain and your grief process will be prolonged.

“Crying during grief is also considered normal as an expression of your natural feelings. But if you don’t feel like crying, don’t force yourself. Everyone’s way of dealing with their pain is different. Likewise, seeing crying as weakness and trying to suppress crying or crying secretly will also make the mourning process difficult. It is normal to feel sorry, and you cry because you lost the person you love. Nobody sees this as a weakness.

“Your life will not be the same as before, but after a certain point, you have to start your life slowly from where you left off. This does not mean that you have forgotten the person you lost. You will always remember and love it, but you need to focus on your life for yourself and for those who love you.

“Get support from your friends and family. Describe the pain and sadness you feel. Contact someone you love whenever you feel lonely. Talk about your feelings and thoughts.

“The spiritual beliefs of the person also make it easier to overcome the mourning process. Prayer, going to the place of worship, thinking that the person you lost is in a better place will alleviate your pain.

“Taking care of yourself physically is supporting yourself emotionally. Even if you don’t have an appetite, try to sit at the table and eat a few bites at meal time.

“If you have insomnia problems, you can try relaxing herbal teas such as chamomile, balm or taking a warm shower before going to sleep.

“Talking to people who have gone through a similar period of grief and learning how they got through it can be helpful.

“Try to return to your hobbies and interests slowly.

“Do not use drugs or alcohol to relieve your pain. This may suppress your pain in the short term, but it will not relieve your pain. However, confronting your emotions and reflecting on your feelings will help you overcome the grief process.

“If you think the process is prolonged or you feel too sad to cope alone, you can seek professional help from a psychologist or psychiatrist.”

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