Specialist Clinical Psychologist Serkan Elçi made recommendations on the do’s and don’ts in order to establish a healthy communication in relationships.
RELATIONS WITHOUT SHARING ARE DEPRESSED
Stating that it is very difficult to maintain a relationship with a person who does not show interest, compassion, does not share his liking, does not communicate, and lives completely individually in relationships, Clinical Psychologist Serkan Elçi said, “An unhealthy communication without sharing drives the person into a depressive mood. It causes a darkening of his perspective towards the whole world, not his wife. For this reason, it is important to know what the motivation is that keeps the parties in a relationship. ” said.
THE BIRTH OF THE CHILD STARTS A NEW ERA IN RELATIONSHIP
Psychologist Serkan Elçi said that there are periods of relations and continued his words as follows:
“One of the search for meaning in life is raising another person. Therefore, families want to experience this feeling after a certain period of time. The birth of the child is the beginning of a new era in the relationship. The period when the child is 1-1.5 years old is the most challenging period of marriages. This is due to the change of priorities and order in the home. Although men always expect the interest and compassion they have received from their mothers before, the interest they receive from their wives naturally decreases during this period, in this case, the tendency of men towards bad habits increases. For example, he gambles because he tries to earn what he lost in his relationship from a completely indifferent place. If he has a good social communication, strong friendship and family relations, he does not feel the need to go on such a path. At the same time, this period can be very weary for the woman. Men should please their wives during this period, show that they understand and respect their responsibility. “
AVOID EXCESSIVE LOYALTY IN RELATIONSHIPS
Stating that being self-sacrificing also means taking responsibility more on the one hand, Elçi said, “One should be able to say ‘I am also’ after a certain point. It is very important in the relationship to avoid too much self-sacrifice, to include the other person in a job and to be able to say ‘I’ without being selfish. Because when one of the parties in the relationship feels bad, their close relationships also deteriorate. Being selfless is a nice act, but when it shifts to selfishness, it should be filed. ” he spoke.
THE CHILD REFLECTS WHAT HE SEE AT HOME TO THE FUTURE RELATIONSHIP
Serkan Elçi said, “If a child sees how a problem experienced in the family has been solved, he also takes him as an example,” says Serkan Elçi, “Therefore, whatever is in the family environment of the child, the same events will be experienced in their own home at a later time. But this situation can be changed and controlled. . ” used the expressions.
IT IS NOT RIGHT TO RECEIVE ADVICE FROM OTHERS ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP
Stating that sometimes opinions were taken from a friend or family about the problems experienced in the relationship, Elçi said, “When an opinion is received from the other side, his ideas about his own life are actually taken. A thought that is based on the mindset of another person may not be according to the family structure of the couple who have problems. It is not correct and objective to seek advice from a mind. ” said.
SPEND TIME TOGETHER
Pointing out that the most fundamental element in a relationship is trust, Serkan Elçi said, “Although trust is a very broad concept, it can be divided into different categories. Loyalty can be exemplified by the economic or trust as a parent. In addition to these basic requirements, spouses sit together and have a coffee and chat. “How was your day?” “He said.” He said, “to give details and to give details and to ask the same question to the other party instead of giving short answers when asked, makes the relationship run more comfortably.”
ENJOYMENT SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED WITH LOVE
Emphasizing that jealousy is also another problem in relationships, Clinical Psychologist Serkan Elçi said, “The idea of associating jealousy with love, which is one of the common mistakes today, is quite wrong. The reason for jealousy can be attributed to insecurity, the environment that has distorted relationships and the events witnessed as a child, but it can never be attributed to love. Therefore, we can say that it would be more correct to say “I am jealous” instead of saying “you are jealous.” Besides, of course, if jealousy is no longer a thought, if there is a very clear and concrete disloyalty or any other problem, the relationship can be ended with legal means. ” used the expressions.
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Psychologist Serkan Elçi interpreted the situation of creating too much private space in a relationship and not being able to allocate time to the other party, and the opposite of creating no private space and doing everything together as follows:
“Too much of everything is harmful. If the person devotes too much time to his hobby and does not care about his wife, it is justified to question this situation. But if all activities are carried out together, this is also a mistake. They should not forget that people are separate individuals and have their own lives. Establish a healthy relationship. It is not as difficult as it seems. For a happy marriage, a certain routine should be established at home, couples should be able to chat together, express if there is a problem, free space should be created and if there is a child, responsibilities related to the child should be shared. “